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Blog
12.23.05 (12:51 pm)   [edit]
 
NEW BLOG
10.17.05 (7:18 am)   [edit]

Hey all those in the blogging world I have a new blog out check it!


www.irejectyourealityandsubst itutemyown.blogspot.com  MY BLOG


Come on!!!


come on!!!!


COME ON!!!!!
 
NEW BLOG NEW BLOG NEW BLOG
08.10.05 (1:50 pm)   [edit]

Ok people this is to let whoever still reads my blog know that I have a NEW blog... I just wanted to start fresh. So if you liked some of the stuff I wrote on this blog tune in to my new one...Also by all means read up in my archives to see if my writing and rants does intrest you at all. Add me to your links area and tell your cyber friends about my blog if you like. I know I know i'm trying to pimp my blog...But big deal does it really matter???


Here is the link to my new blog


http://irejectyourreality andsubstitutemyown.blogspot.com/" title="http://irejectyourreality andsubstitutemyown.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"http://irejectyourreality ands...
 
to....
03.23.05 (9:14 pm)   [edit]

Hey whoever is out there...


To people who I havent talked to in months I don't believe in God ....


Not that you will see this anyway...


If you do call me...
 
update
02.10.04 (4:07 pm)   [edit]
So I know I said I was going to switch my blog over to a new one and stuff but I just havent been able to.
Anyways...
It has been quite a long while I guess since I have last posted. Sorry to the people who actually read my blog.
Yeah so new stuff....let's see...
Well on sunday I played Dungeons and Dragons with some friends of mine. It was pretty cool. I enjoy playing
games like D&D. I was really upset when I first got there but we didn't start playing for a little while so I had some time to calm down. I got really into the game for a while but near the end I was feeling really sick and couldent concentrate. Right now I'm feeling sick aswell.
I have been since thursday night. Just a cold of somesort I suppose. But it's really dragging me down. Last night was a pretty bad night. I was feeling sick like I have been for the last couple of days and my mind was running away like I let it do sometimes. I still havent got over something that I have been struggling with for 3or4 years now. It seems impossible to overcome. But I can't sit there and constantly think that.
If I do it gets me no where. I know God is helping me with my struggle but you know sometimes I just give in.
I feel ashamed to admit it. But I do. I give in and I don't know what to do afterwards except to keep giving in or refuse to give in. To keep giving in is of course easier then the latter. But I have been able to fight and make it through tough times more than I use to be able to.
God blessed me with people who genuinely care about me and want to see me grow in him. I love these people dearly and wish I could have them around all the time.
I feel like I always need someone to be asking me "Have you been doing this latley?" I don't know if in reality it would help at all, but in my head it seems to make sense. Anyways right now I just try and call people when I feel I need to talk. It helps and these people are so understanding that they don't mind me calling ever I need help in some area. But sometimes I just don't call when I should. I don't call when I need to the most. Something to work on I guess. Something a lot of people need to work on. Well that's my update for now. I'll try to post more in the upcoming days...
 
Love
01.23.04 (1:07 pm)   [edit]
Alright. Right now I don't know exactly how to start this post. But here it goes. I found this group of people which I absolutley love. They are all so amazing. This group of people grows and all the new people who come I love just as much as the people who have been there from the start. These people encourage me and show me things about myself which I struggle to see. They show me that I am a strong person. (they remind me of this frequently) They let me know that they value my friendship. They let me know that I am smart. This is what I have been struggling to find for so long. People to tell me I am worth something and that I do have a place in their lives. Check out the link on the side entitled em's blog. She wrote about most of the people in the group and what they add to it.
 
relative truth... does it exist?
01.21.04 (11:36 am)   [edit]
Ok so we live in a culture and a time where it is totally exceptable to do whatever we want. It is totally exceptable to hold whatever beliefs we want to hold.
But as soon as I say God is the only way suddenly I'm crossing the boundaries and no longer can I voice my system of beliefs morals and values. Why? Because I am "[u]Forcing[/u]" my beliefs and morals on people.
The same people who tell me though that I cannot make a claim like that are doing the same thing they claim I am doing...limiting people to one truth and one set of rules. They are telling me I CAN'T say jesus is the only way because that is descriminating against the people who think jesus is not the way. Is it really descrimination? No. Who are the people who are really descriminating? The people who tell me I cannot hold the belief I hold.
So relative truth....
Is there really truth which is relative?
Sure there may be some truth that is relative.
But can all religions be true because truth is relative?
No.
Can all accounts of how the world became be true?
No.
The fact is Objective truth is possible and relative truth in matters such as religion and God is not.
Think about this all you relative truth thinkers.
Really look at it.
Don't just dissmiss me.
You can't if you claim to really be looking for the truth.
But wait that's right truth is relative for you so why search for it?
 
logic
01.20.04 (3:55 pm)   [edit]
My logical mind is just well driving me crazy right now!
So many things are illogical and they drive me nuts.
 
new blog
01.20.04 (3:53 pm)   [edit]
ok everyone I am going to be switching my blog address so I'll post the new one in a little while.
 
tuesday
01.13.04 (4:03 pm)   [edit]
So it's been a little while since iv posted.
Man it has been crazy the last little while and the crazyness keeps on coming.
Sunday I had a pretty good night.
Monday just sucked pretty bad and tuesday(today) is pretty much the same.

[b] Bleeding Apathy[/b]
the sun may rise
but that doesnt mean I see the new day
it feels all the same
always dark and dreary
im dragged so far away
from my ideals
sobbing today
for what I let myself do
I never stop doing it
It leads to more
It rears its ugly head at me
and pounds me to the ground
Im lying here
with wounds of
bleeding apathy
 
give it up
12.12.03 (11:56 am)   [edit]
Sometimes I just want to give it all up.
If I did I wonder how my life would differ.
Will I ever be in a place with God like I use to be again?
I am really not in the best mood at the moment and I am not looking for answers I am just pretty much ranting. I don't feel comfortable talking to alot of people anymore about this sort of thing so It's all going to be expressed here. :x
 
Angry and out of it
12.12.03 (11:48 am)   [edit]
I feel so angry. At what? Well the world, myself and some other things.
I'm so out of it.
Out of it all.
It isent that im tired or anything like that.
I'm just out of it.
Last night I had groups.
We broke off into two smaller groups.
I just pretty much felt annoyed at everything and started ranting.
I'm just not feeling God at all.
And part of me doesnt want to deal with God.
I really hate it sometimes. The way I get so angry. I get envious of other people aswell. Then I get angry at them.
I just want to take a break!
From everything.
I want to go somewhere secluded and rest.
Maybe I'll lay off on some things for a bit. I don't know.
I just hate and am angry at everything today.
It's funny how my posts are sometimes.
I go from being totally happy , to angry , to depressed
within a couple of days.
Oh well what can i do? :cry:
 
off the top
12.06.03 (12:36 pm)   [edit]
Hey this is just something off the top of my head enjoy.

Darkness is near
It is all around
I hate my human condition
of keeping you away
My mind goes
to places it shouldent be
I wanna keep my mind
On what is right
The devil has a way of ensnaring me
and my thoughts
But God has a stronger way
He will set me free
He has to set me free
I wanna keep close to you Lord
Keep the enemy away
Keep the light in Lord
Chase the dark thoughts away
You are what keeps me from falling into
Things that will destroy me
You keep me from the devils hands
Save me
oh save me
Keep me from the lies
Save me from the darkness
That I fall so far into
We all fall into
 
blah...
12.05.03 (5:43 pm)   [edit]
Well I am feeling really crappy. I just don't want to do anything. When family puts me down it really makes me feel like crap. I havent eaten yet today and today is almost over. I don't seem to care right at the moment.
No matter what I do I just can't seem to please my parents. My dad isent in contact with me anymore.
I live with my mom but she barley says a kind word to me. I really seem to be dreading each day.
All that keeps me going is God and when I get to places like these in my life I can't feel him.
I really hope this hopelessness passes.
I want to be doing things for God but it seems like I am tied to a chair at home.
I really need to think about some things in my life.
 
God is awsome
12.04.03 (11:47 am)   [edit]
Hey everyone just wanted to say God is awsome.
He is with you through all the crap.
Trust in the Lord for he is good his love endures forever!
 
freaking out
12.02.03 (11:40 am)   [edit]
Man I am really freaking out right now...
Cannot find the people that I need to find.
I just needed to write to let people know I am really freaking out.
Pray for me please!!!
 
Pain
11.27.03 (2:36 pm)   [edit]
We all feel pain.
We all know pain of somesort.
How is it then that some people decide to follow God despite their pain while others curse God?
I have felt pain in my life.
Emotional and physical.
I have felt pain just like you.
I choose to go to God with my pain.
Sometimes it feels like he hasent helped at all.
But he has.
God helps us through our pain.
He never lets us go through more pain then we need to.
Try to turn to God with your pain.
He will listen and help you through.
 
Gods' grace
11.27.03 (2:26 pm)   [edit]
Grace is getting something we don't deserve.
Or I guess being treated way better then we deserve.
God gives us things everyday that we don't deserve and hardly notice. God gave us beauty. He gave us music and art and food. God is so loving yet we don't see it most of the time. God gave us so much and yet we sin against him. I choose to see the beautiful things God has given us and I choose to worship him because of all he has done for me. He gave the ultimate sacrifice aswell. He gave his son. We can have eternal life through jesus christ.
Look at the beauty around you and think about who made it .
Thank God for being an awsome God and for giving us life.
 
beautiful
11.17.03 (4:17 pm)   [edit]
I love you like the rain
come to me and sing again
I long for your love so much
I long for your pure touch
you are beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
 
father
11.10.03 (4:24 pm)   [edit]
Father hold me tight
keep me in the light
hold me like a child
I need you I want you
to be my father always
so hold me tight
 
Your Love
11.10.03 (4:14 pm)   [edit]
Your Love
Shown to me
It's the only Love
That can set me Free
Day and Night
Speak to me
Help me to Show the World
Your Love
 
Community
11.06.03 (7:18 pm)   [edit]
Hey everyone. Just wanted to stress how important community is.Theres this place iv been going to for the last little while. It's a bunch of christians hanging out and eating and being encouraged. There is even some none christians who show up here. Anyways it has been a huge part of my life. Without having community I would have almost certainly fallen away. These people have been so awsome and I just wanted to let you guys know that. Community is very important.Church is community. So church is very important. Church is not just a place to sit and learn it is a place to encourage and be encouraged. It is also a place just to have christian fellowship, as well as a place to learn.I hope everyone out there has people to have fellowship with and learn from. Having people to learn and get encouragment from has saved my life. If anyone has any questions about anything or needs some encouragement, let me know.

Godbless everyone!
 
Not casting stones
11.05.03 (12:06 pm)   [edit]
Jesus was a friend of all.He was a friend of sinners,tax collectors and prostitutes.Jesus was a friend to those who had none.When others were ready to cast stones at the prostitute Jesus said "whoever has never sinned may cast the first stone." They all left. Christians are to be christ like, not casting stones, but stopping those who are going to cast stones. We have all sinned and therefore are all sinners. But none of us are beyond Jesus christ and his love. Do not cast stones. Do not judge people and act harshly towards them. Be christ like and show people love. God the father is the only judge there is meant to be. Loving people in all circumstances is what we need to do. When faced with a person who has done wrong to you or otherwise tell them about christs' love and forgivness.

(John 8 )
 
Ignoring God in times of pain
10.24.03 (8:53 pm)   [edit]
Recently I have been having a very tough time.
I have been dealing with feelings of extreme hopelessness and pain. I stopped talking to God.
That was a huge mistake. When I stopped talking to God it left the door wide open for satan to attack. And he did.
I started having feelings of hopelessness I never thought I would have to deal with again. I even got to the point where I started to doubt God even wanted me. My days the last little while have been filled with feeling sorry for myself and thinking God didnt want me. I also started getting self destructive again. Something I have struggled with for a while now. I am still struggling. I will be for awhile. I need to get through my feelings of pain. I don't know how, but I have a feeling God will help me. So i'm told. I know I will have struggles all the time. But one thing I feel is crucial for me to be healed of my pain is to stop ignoring God. If anyone out there is feeling like I am right now know that God is love and he DOES want you. Do not let satan tell you otherwise.
 
Opinion, I am entitled to one, right?
10.18.03 (4:05 pm)   [edit]
At first glance of reading my subject most of you would reply " Of course!" Well I have an opinion that many people seem to have a problem with.In fact many people have this same opinion as well.We get hounded for it constantly and told we are intolerant. When in reality it is the world out there that is intolerant of us. I don't agree with the fact that many homosexuals want everyone agree with them on their stance. I don't and I am called intolerant. Shoulden't the people who hound me for what I believe be called intolerant as well? It is very hard to keep opinions that everyone agrees with. But I don't think I should have to do that. I think I should be able to voice what I believe without having someone shout "Intolerant!"